ＷＥＢ絵本『微笑』

It was a cute doll with bobbed hair.
Having nothing on, it had smiled with a look of vacancy.
Its smile was disregarding time and space and was representative of all the emptiness.

それは可愛らしい、お河童さんの人形であった．

丸裸体のまま・・・どこをみつめているかわからないまま・・・ニッコリと笑っていた．

・・・時間と空間とを無視した・・・すべての空虚を代表した微笑であった．

... the greatest beauty ...
I got to be envious of the beauty.
I got to hate it beyond words.
I got to be extremely sad, irritated and annoyed with the brightness of its smooth skin.

・・・真実無上の美しさ・・・

私は、その美しさが羨ましくなった．

云い知れず憎々しくなった．

そのスベスベした肌の光りが無性に悲しく、腹立たしく、じれったくなった．

I got to want to destroy the doll.
I got to want to mess up its smile.
I lifted the doll into my arms and tried twisting its neck calmy.

その人形を壊してしまいたくなった．

その微笑をメチャメチャにしたくなった．

私は人形を抱き上げて、静かに首をねじって見た．

Then its neck broke with hardly a noise.
And its windpipe of bamboo came out from the inside unexpectedly as if it made a fool of me.
するとその首は、殆んど音も立てないで、ポックリと折れた中から、竹の咽喉笛がヒョイと出て来た・・・人を馬鹿にしたように・・・

It made me exited.
I punched and cracked its head with my fist.
Then its brain of sawdust crumbled and dropped down.

私は面白くなった．

拳固を固めてポカリと頭をたたき割ったら、おが屑の脳味噌がバラバラと崩れ落ちて来た．

I grabbed and broke its body.
Then its ribs of cardboard popped out.
And further, its septum of a thin board and its bowels of waste papers got out from under them.

胴を掴み破ると、ボール紙の肋骨が飛び出した．

その下から又、薄板の隔膜と反故紙の腸があらわれた．

I snapped its arms and legs.
And then, I found that the contents were only flesh of gray soil and that the place of bones was empty.
手足をポキポキとヘシ折ったら、中味は灰色の土の肉ばかりで、骨の処は空虚になっていることがわかった．

But the doll did not die.
With everything broken into pieces, it had a charming smile.

けれども人形は死ななかった．

何もかもバラバラになったまま、可愛らしくニコニコしていた．

I got irritated more and more.
I wrapped all the broken pieces of the doll in an old newspaper.
And I crumpled it up into a ball.
I threw it on the garbage heap at the corner of the yard, cursing the doll maker who made this worthless thing.

私はいよいよ苛立たしくなった．

人形の破片を残らず古新聞に包んで、グルグルと押し丸めて、庭の隅のハキダメにタタキ込んだ．

・・・こんな下らないものを作った人形師を呪いながら・・・